I am literally just sitting here apprehensively waiting for the fanfiction about my calculator and me to show up.
It had been an amazing, romantic night of dancing and having fun at prom, but the night had only just begun. Her white dress had been torn off in a burst of frenzied passion, flung into the front seat of the car like a page of frustrating Calculus homework. Heavy breathing and the occasional moan could be heard from the back seat as Regina, locked in a lustful embrace with T.I., slowly ran her hands up and down his well-defined plastic body.
“Oh baby, I love it when you push my buttons like that” T.I. whispered. The sound of his voice gave Regina chills. Oh, how she loved his voice. It was a soothing baritone, punctuated by the blips and bleeps of his circuitry. It turned her on so much. She lifted the calculator above her head and met his gaze, her dark eyes sparkling with anticipation.
“I want you inside me,” she breathed.
“Are you sure?” T.I. responded, his electronic voice tinged with worry. “I might shock you…”
“I don’t care!” Regina shouted. Her eyes began to moisten. “I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone else, human or electronic. No one else has been so sweet, kind and caring to me. No one else has been there for me through all those years when I thought I was going to fail my math classes. And no one else has ever looked so drop-dead gorgeous in a imported silk tux!”
She leaned forward and whispered into his electronic ear, “And that’s why I want you to be my second derivative and investigate my concavities.”
…to be continued?
(Blatantly ignoring the fact that Regina is asexual)